It feels as though things are slipping. It feels as though life isn't as good anymore. There are a few highlights here and there, but apart from that... I'm frustrated, I'm annoyed, I'm upset.

I'm depressed, I'm anxious, I'm stressed.

Ever since I got out of hospital last year, I always feel as though I should be back in there. I feel as though I'm not recovered. I feel as though I'm never going to recover.

I hate myself and I hate life.

Just under two months till I leave for the UK and Europe. 

Maybe I will disappear???

I think that if I move to another country, get away from everything here, everything is going to be okay. But deep down, I know my problems are going to come with me. I feel as though I'm going to fail, and I won't be able to pick myself up as well as I'm able to when I'm surrounded by friends.

I don't want to spiral down, but I'm deathly afraid that that is what is going to happen.

And I hate that feeling and it makes me want to stay here.

But I hate being here.

Happy Mothers Day!!!

Okay, I know it was yesterday, but I didn't go onto my mac yesterday, so here is my Mothers Day post.

In the past, Mothers Day has always been postponed in our house for some reason or another, except for this year! Yay!!!

I had been sick throughout the week with labyrinthitis, and going to bed at 7-7.30 pm and sleeping throughout the night, but I woke up on Sunday feeling pretty peachy, compared to the rest of the week, and I decided I wanted to bake mum something for mothers day. I found a delish looking recipe, and it was off to Woolies I went, to get all the ingredients that were needed. 

I came home, and baked away. As I had never used this recipe before, I was a little doubtful, as the mixture was quite runny, but the cupcakes turned out fine!

Chocolate Cherry Cupcakes!!!

They were amazingly delicious, and I would definitely bake again.

The rest of mothers day was rather relaxing, and me and mum had Indian for dinner. My gosh, that was yum yum yum. I haven't had Indian for aaaaaages, and that was amazing, just from the Indian restaurant around the corner from where we live.

Oh, and mum is getting a second Mother's Day tomorrow. Im paying for her to get a tattoo, and Im buying myself a matching tattoo. Im looking forward to it!

I also have an appointment in Newtown tomorrow afternoon, so mum is driving me to Sydney after our tattoos, and then we are dining in Darling Harbour somewhere.

So I think this is a mothers day to remember, before I jet off overseas.

I love you mummy!!!

xoxo