It feels as though things are slipping. It feels as though life isn't as good anymore. There are a few highlights here and there, but apart from that... I'm frustrated, I'm annoyed, I'm upset.
I'm depressed, I'm anxious, I'm stressed.
Ever since I got out of hospital last year, I always feel as though I should be back in there. I feel as though I'm not recovered. I feel as though I'm never going to recover.
I hate myself and I hate life.
Just under two months till I leave for the UK and Europe.
Maybe I will disappear???
I think that if I move to another country, get away from everything here, everything is going to be okay. But deep down, I know my problems are going to come with me. I feel as though I'm going to fail, and I won't be able to pick myself up as well as I'm able to when I'm surrounded by friends.
I don't want to spiral down, but I'm deathly afraid that that is what is going to happen.
And I hate that feeling and it makes me want to stay here.
But I hate being here.
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