Saturday, October 30, 2010

just some photos

Hi, my name is Sophie and I am addicted to nail polish. 
I'm not sure how many nail polishes I own, and how many more I want to own, but it's a lot. I'm always lusting after new colours. Or even just a new bottle of nail polish, to vamp up an old outfit. I've decided to turn my nail polish habit into something constructive, by buying nail polish that supports causes, such as O.P.I's nail polish for breast cancer. I have a few family members who have had breast cancer, and so many women get breast cancer each year (and die from it), so this is a really good cause (and the colour looks amazing on, all shimmery and baby pink. Love it!) 
I also bought The Cassette Society/Sportsgirl nail polish where a % of the cost went towards The Butterfly Foundation. This is actually close to heart, as I myself am currently in the throes of an eating disorder, so I will happily support this cause more than once, and any money going towards The Butterfly Foundation will help so many, as it is devastating and awful living with this, not just myself, but also for my mum.

I often go to Sydney, and since I can't drive, train is my option. Its a 90 minute train ride from Wollongong to Sydney, so I always need entertainment, whether it be magazine or book, and always my iPod. (And a very vanilla chiller.)
Feet on seats! I know you're not supposed to, but I sometimes do it, only when the train is empty. Never on a peak hour train. It really irks me when people take up so many seats on peak hour trains. Down with seat hogs!!! Also wanted to show off my fluro pedi. It gave me something nice to look at, and kept my spirits up when I was in hospital for three weeks last month.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Day 30

Whatever Tickles My Fancy

Thats it. 30 days of blog (finished in waaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy more then 30 days, but I'm not caring about that).

I hate hospital. They should just have a bed in there. With my name on it. Always reserved for me. Im in there that often. Just last month I was in hospital for just under three weeks. A week later Im back in hospital. It was rather gross this time. I spent two days throwing up, it was awful. Monday and Tuesday. Spewday and Spewday. 
I had to get the Radio Doctor to come give me a shot of stemitil (anti-nausea medication). Not that it helped, as I was still throwing up for the rest of the night whenever I woke up. Then it kept happening Tuesday, so I went to see my GP. I couldn't even open my eyes as the light hurt. My neck was painful. The GP I saw thought I had a bleed in my brain, so she called them ambulance to take me to hospital, and then the ambulance saw a rash on my chest. I got to hospital and was given a drip and some oxygen mask that was loud and annoying and heavy, and bloods got done and the Doctor sounded (and kinda looked like) Shaun of the Dead. If I wasn't so sick it would have been so much better.
The doctor kinda thought I had meningitis and wanted to do a lumbar puncture and I had a mass panic attack and wouldn't let them do it. And my bloods came back with massively abnormal, through the roof liver functions. So I had to get this medication in my drip that made throw up some more to clear up my liver. So I spent the night sleeping in A&E and trying not to freak out about getting a lumbar puncture the next day. 
In the morning when I woke up, I felt pretty fantastic. Not spewy, my headache was gone, and omg the student doctors. A whole bunch of babes!!! I had a good perve.
Then the Gastro team came to see me, and it was the Gastroenterologist who did my gastroscopy before I got discharged from hospital the last week. Which was kinda crazy, but he is a nice doctor. 
I then got moved to a ward later in the day (after having a nurse called Sophie do my obs down in A&E. What an awesome name!) So I spent Wednesday in a ward full of old people, in a room full of old ladies. My god, old people fart so much. It was a pretty depressing ward, all old and only two bathrooms. Ew. The TV was good. I watched some awesome fishing show on Discovery channel, and watched alot of the Nickelodeon channel.
I then got moved to the ward where my mum used to work the next day. After getting my daily blood test done by a pretty cute venupuncturist. He was a babe. I had a good perve. But going to the ward where my mama used to work was good. I knew half of the staff, and it's a really nice ward, and each room has its own bathroom and two toilets, so I never had to wait for the toilet, which was good. Still a ward full of old people and in a room full of old, farting and burping ladies, but I didn't mind it too bad. The daily blood tests were kinda annoying, except when the cute guy came.
When I got admitted to hospital, I was freaking out about missing one of my best friends birthdays again (I was sick last year and couldn't go.) My doctor was pretty awesome and gave me gate leave, and the nursing staff said I could come back at 10 pm. So on Saturday afternoon, I went home and got ready and went out for dinner for Rachel's birthday. It was a good dinner, even though I couldn't drink. We then went to The Grand to play some pool, and I bought a diet coke, and gave the bar girl $10. She then gave me $17 of whatever change. I was pretty stoked with that. I then had to call my mum at 9.30 pm to come pick me up, so I could be back at the hospital for 10 pm, or else my bed would be given away.
I then got to leave hospital on Monday, as my liver functions had improved, but they still aren't perfect. So no one really knows what caused it, but it may have been a medication I was on. But I now know that liver infections are not fun.
I have to get weekly blood tests, and then monthly blood tests, just to make sure my liver is in tact and working condition, with my first weekly blood test being this Monday. Gah.

After leaving hospital, I called David Jones on Tuesday to find out when my first shifts would be. I got a call back about an hour or so later, asking if I could come in and work that afternoon. So I started work on Tuesday, and worked again yesterday. Bought some new stockings and shirts for work on Tuesday. So I'm pretty stoked about that.

Still freaking out about my liver, but I'm hoping it will be all good. Not aloud alcohol for a month, so I think I will have a big night out in a month's time, to celebrate my return to alcohol.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Day 29

Hopes, Dreams, Plans for the next 365 days

I have training for David Jones tomorrow, so I would like to still be working at David Jones this time next year. I would like to have saved up enough money to at least go on one Contiki tour, or to go to the Harry Potter Theme Park. 
I want to go to Adelaide again. See my family. See the sights. Go to the museum. Go to the art gallery. Take lots of photos. Go to the zoo. Be happy.
I want to travel Australia. Not everywhere, just mainly to Byron Bay, Melbourne and Queensland. 
I want to get happy, and stay happy.
I want to enjoy life more then I enjoy it now (I'm slowly getting there).
I want me and mum to stay happy together, to not fight, to not have raging arguments, to talk more. I want to keep feeling loved by mum.
I want to have amazing times with friends. I want summer to be awesome. I want autumn to be awesome. I want winter to be awesome. 

I don't want to hibernate all winter. I want to go out and enjoy life, like I do in the summer. 

I want to still be dancing. I want to smile. I want to laugh. I want to live.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Day 28

This Year, In Great Detail

The year started out fantastic. I spent the new year with great friends, drinking too much vodka, watching fireworks and lots of dancing. I then spent the summer partying too much, dancing a lot, and going out every weekend. I also started pole dancing. Summer was amazing.

Autumn. I don't like Autumn. I kept partying. I kept dancing. Then I got a disc bulge and my life went downhill. I was in emergency at the local hospital 3 times in one month (twice in an ambulance, as I couldn't walk). Many painkillers were taken. Way too many. Just when my back was getting better, Winter came along, and so did a kidney infection and my appetite went out the door. For 7 weeks. 

Winter. I couldn't eat for 7 weeks. I lost weight, my self confidence, and none of my clothes fit me. I didn't go out. I felt like I had lost everything (including friends). This, aswell as the disc bulge, slowly bought my depression back. Me and mum were arguing more again. I was not a happy camper.

It's now spring. I thought things were looking up, but I couldn't eat properly. I hate(d) myself. I didn't enjoy life. I didn't enjoy much. I tried to act like I did, but on the inside I didn't. It is such an awful feeling. To wake up and not want to do everything. Everything is such an effort. Crying comes naturally, and even that is effort. Goodbye motivation.

I ended up in hospital. Today I have been in hospital for two weeks, but I get leave (currently on leave now as I write this blog). I'm hoping I'm out soon, as I'm over hospital. 

It's such a nice day out now, I think I'm going to go for a walk down by the beach. And to enjoy some fresh air, and to relish the fact that I'm not surrounded by four walls.