I hate cortisol levels. Mine are way too high at the moment, and it may be why I haven't eaten for nearly 6 weeks (bar a jar of apple and mango baby food, which made me sick for the next 24 hours). And to be honest, I miss food so so much. I've lost too much weight and none of my clothes fit me. I just want to be better and healthy again. I've turned into a nanna, and pretty much all I do is sit around and knit, and watch movies and don't socialize, as I get way way way too cold at night time.
But Im actually going out tonight. And Im scared Im going to freeze, but Im looking forward to the social experience, and being out of the house at night. It has been about 6 weeks since I last went out. Oh, Im not going to know what to do.
But back to eating/not eating. I am creating a list in my head of all the foods I want to eat when I can eat normally again, and the places I want to eat out at and who with. And Im probably going to go on a peanut butter binge. God damn, I love love love peanut butter!!! It is amazing. And I've found a peanut butter brownie recipe, that Im going to bake, and eat, and get fat (or at least put on all the weight I've lost).
I just have to hope the specialist appointment that I have booked for a weeks time goes well, regarding my cortisol levels/not being able to eat. Fingers crossed something eventuates, and I get my appetite back!
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