I bought my first chopping board.

I know it's not much, but it feels like alot for me. Just buying homely/kitchen things is making me feel a whole lot more grown up.

First saucepans and fry pans, knives, cooking utensils.

Nineteen February, Two Thousand & Nine

I turned 22. It was a good day. Only I burnt my thumb on the toaster, which was not very pleasant. But I did wake up to see this sleeping under the porch.

I call her Shleepy, as everytime I see her, she is sleeping in the garden, on the bark.

I got a free Boost Juice, because it was my birthday.

I love free things. I love birthdays.

I went over to my mums for dinner. We got some Red Rooster, as she was feeling sick and didn't feel up to going out for dinner as planned. I got the tropicana pack. I love a good battered pinapple. So not good for you, but they taste so great.

My mum took me out for lunch on Friday. It was so good. We went to Centro, at the Italian Centre. It used to be my favourite restaurant as a kid, but it has since been renovated, and is all classy and posh looking, but still great (I secretly miss the old 80's interior). The food was great, and I got a free Corona from the waiter. 

I went out on the town that night with Mel and Ally. It was good night. I havent been out like that in ages, and I miss it, and want to do it more often. We started out at Unibar, where we had some shots.

I then took a self-portrait

We got fascinated by many things on the walk to North Gong

We made it to North Gong, where I drank. I like to drink

We sat in a gutter and ate some food

We met up with Mels boyfriend and went to the Illawarra

We thought this guy was cute

I like to keep hydrated, and show off some underwear at the same time.

This is Mel. We have known each other since we were 4. I hope we are still friends when we are 94

Job Interview

I think it went well. I hope it went well. I find out in 7-14days.

My day started out crap. I slept through my alarm. Lucky the rain woke me up. I was thinking it was too light to be before 7am, so I check the time... it was 8.10am! Fuck! I managed to get dressed, do my hair and make-up and eat breakfast in 20mins. Disco! 

I love these shoes. So cute. I get so many compliments for them.

My mum was nice enough to drive me to the station, and I ended up missing the train, but there was a bus going to Waterfall in 10mins, so it was all okay. And I still got to Bondi Junction at 11am, which was part of my plan.

I wandered around Westfield searching for Myer, and then I found it, and was early, so went in search for a hot chocolate, and then browsed Miss Shop. Decided to go up 20mins early, and I wasn't the first person there, so all was good.

The interview was okay. Standard group interview process. Introduce yourself to everyone else, say what store you prefer to work in, and an interesting fact about yourself. Fill out some forms. Get i.d. checked. Activity time. The End. Enquire about the chance of getting a position at Wollongong Myer. Little chance. Bummer. So if I get a job, I will be travelling on a train for about 4hrs each work day, but I won't complain (or complain too much), as a job is a job, and I need and want a job.

I went shopping after the interview, in Myer. Wow, the change-rooms in Bondi Myer are amazing! The cubicles are HUGE, and there is a tv playing a music channel, and there were testers of the Harajuku perfumes (all empty). I bought a cute new dress, red tartan button up t-shirt dress. I'm wearing it out for dinner tomorrow night for my birthday. After Myer, I went in search of the food court, thinking I would be inundated by choices. Alas, I was highly mistaken. For such a large shopping centre, the food court was tiny. But the food was good.

I then continued browsing in shops around Bondi Westfield, insearch for a cute pair of mary janes, that are a decent price. I found a few pairs, but didn't try any on. Maybe next time.

I have shit friends, but I made butterfly cakes

As said, my friends can be shitty. It pisses me off. One of my friends is going overseas for 6 months, maybe more, so I thought I would do something nice, and invite her over and bake her cupcakes, with two of other friends (at her request. One of the friends being my housemate). I made the cupcakes. They turned out great. I was ignored the entire night. Forget the fact that I organized this night a week or so ago, I was left out of everything. Mary and Ally made dinner. I was invited, I didn't get any. I had no say. Mary and Ally watched tv all night. Mel couldn't come over because of work, fair enough. I was ignored for television shows that had to be watched. Ally couldn't miss out on her tv shows, and she can't possibly watch them on the internet coz she doesn't know how, and won't accept my offering of my giving her sites to watch the show on.

I didn't barely got a word in with either of them. It's fucked. I hate it. Last time I do something nice for either of them again.  I didn't even get thanked for the cupcakes. I think it's downright rude.

My butterfly cakes tasted good, but next time I'll use a different cream.

Long Time, No See

I moved back to Wollongong about 5 weeks ago. There has been no internet connected... till yesterday. Saying that, the landlords are extremely slack, but the wife is slowly picking up on the game. I still hate the house, though. I think it is awful, and overpriced. For the size of the house, and where its located, and the lack of anything remotely new, I should be paying, at least, $40 less in rent a week. Or something like that. I want to move out. First, I need a job, and someone to live with. Then I can think about other things, such as furniture. Apparently I need to think about them now, according my friend, Ally, who I currently live with. If I were moving within the next few weeks (which I would love to, but I'm not), then I would be thinking about furniture. But I'm not, as I told her I have more important things to think about. 

I have a job interview on Wednesday for Myer. The interview is in Bondi, but I've applied for the Wollongong store, and I really want this job. The sooner I get a job, the sooner I get more money, the sooner I can move out (after I find someone to live with. Or I may just live by myself, I've been thinking about that option.)

It's my birthday on Thursday. I have no idea what I'm doing. I know I'm going into town and getting my free boost juice, and take some clothes to the Salvation Army, and take some books and cd's to the store that takes them. I might even put a dress on laybuy. Apart from that, I don't know what I'm doing. I'll probably talk to my mum about it tomorrow when I go visit her.

Speaking of birthdays, it was my cats 10th birthday last Tuesday. She got a slice of cake, some cat grass, and a new kitty litter box. She enjoyed her cake.

Aquarobics

I went to an aquarobics class today. It was quite fun, yet painful on my leg at the same time. And it's true, aquarobics classes are dominated by old people. I was the youngest in the class by a few decades. But I will continue doing aquarobics. I'm not suppossed to be doing aquarobics, or any  sort of physical activity, pretty much, after having surgery.

I got operated on Dec 23 in Canberra. It went well. It was a boring day at the hospital, but I had lots of magazines to read, and there was a tv in the waiting room, and I got to wear a pretty comfy dressing gown. The walk to theatre was not fun. After having not eaten for about 15hrs, I had to walk past a cafeteria to get to theatre. Lucky I wasn't feeling all that hungry. I then got to lay in a bed with a warm blanket, and some nurse talked to me. I then got wheeled into the room you go into before the operating room. Ive never liked that room. It's always so cold. Same with the operating room. But it's something to do with equipment and infections. I'm not too sure.

I'm getting braver as I get older. First surgery I've ever had where I didn't cry beforehand. And my mum wasn't even there with me. But I was brave, and I didn't cry, and I was able to talk to the theatre nurses and the anaesthesiologist all good. I got the canula inserted and then had to breathe into the oxygen. The anaesthesiologist was telling me its best if i hold it over my mouth myself, as I can get it in the better position, and so no oxygen escapes, and he tells me it's in a good place, no oxygen was escaping, and that was pretty much it. No getting told to count backwards. No warning. Just waking up in recovery all groggy and heavy-eyed, trying to work out where I was, and what I was doing and if I had had surgery yet. Then I felt the pain and realised I had been operated on, and the nurse came over to give me pain killers. Which I proceeded to get a fair few more times. 

I don't like the sound of oxygen masks. They are a little noisy in quiet rooms. I hate the smell of them. Combined with a sore throat from the breathing tube, there aren't that great, and the taste of the oxygen and plastic stick around in the back of your throat for a few days.

It's been two weeks since I got operated on. I'm still in quite an amount of pain. I've been taking pain killers daily. It hurts to do everyday activities, such as getting out of bed, sitting down at the table, walking up and down stairs. But there's not much that can be done. The doctor I saw today said the only thing she can do is keep me comfy with pain killers, till the pain goes away, and see the surgeon again for after surgery check-up. So I'm back on panadiene forte. Not the greatest way to start a new year.

2008 is over

I'm not sure if it was a good year, or a bed year. It had it's ups. It had it's downs. But from what I see, it was mostly down. 

I started the year off with a great job. But then left, due to going to tafe in Sydney. I fought with my mum heaps, got kicked out of home, and then moved to Sydney. I had fun in Sydney, but missed all my friends like crazy.

I never got a job in Sydney. I didn't enjoy being so far away from all my friends, and my mum and my cat.

I didn't talk to my mum for the majority of the year. I had a breakdown and had to go to hospital. I saw many councellors and psychologists. Then I saw a pyschiatrist and got diagnosed with a mood disorder. 

I made some good friends in Sydney. I enjoy being so close to the city, and being able to walk to Newtown. I had fun at the parties I went to. 

I quit tafe part way through the first term of second semester. It was good to be able to do everything for me. Music Business was a shit course, I wasn't learning anything, and I missed doing art subjects. 

I had a fair amount of job interviews, but no success. If I didn't go to tafe in Sydney, I would have stayed in Wollongong, and kept my job, and stayed with all my friends and family. I probably would have talked to my mum all year, aswell.

I enjoyed not being held down by anything. I didn't enjoy the lack of money. 

I lived with two awesome girls in Sydney. I'm going to miss them. I'm moving back to Wollongong. 

I'm hoping this year will be alot different. I want to get a job. I want to be secure in life. I want to have something to do. I want to buy a new bed. I want to buy a bookshelf. I want to spend more time with my friends. I want to spend more time with my mum and my cat. I want to spend more time doing art and photography. I want to bake more. I want to learn to knit. I want to remember more of what I did, instead of thinking back on the past year, trying to remember what I did, and not remembering much of it. 

2008 is seeming like a big blur of everything. Passing out from too much drinking. Trying drugs for the first time. Crying myself to sleep at night. Crying for no reason at all. Crying at the most smallest things. Laughing at things that aren't funny. Missing everything I am familiar with. Not having a relationship with my mother.

I'm going to make 2009 different. I hope it's going to be different